by Matthew Williams on Monday, January 24, 2011 at 9:10pm
These were compiled from various sources some are mine but most are stolen
Rules of life: #1 Gravity wins, #2 Math IS hard, #3 the game is won or lost before you play, #4 the road to hell is paved with adverbs, really, #5 the devil Really (see rule #4) is in the details, #6 If it can go wrong it has gone wrong before, #7 For every rule there is a reason, #8 All generalizations are wrong, #9 Pessimists are always happier than you, #10 If you think it is a bad idea you are right and it is probably too late to worry about it so don't, #11 differences in temperature, pressure, and chemical potential equilibrate in an isolated physical system over time, #12 bowdlerization is flipping silly, #13 Sometimes your absence is the best gift you can give, silence comes in a close second, #14 It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black, #15 If you find it too hard to laugh at yourself others will be happy to do it for you, #16 Honesty is the best policy -- when there is money in it, #17 It is not necesssary to understand things in order to argue about them, #18 A good listener is usually thinking about something else, #19 A troubled past can be fixed by a bad memory, #20 If you think someone is arrogant chances are they are just better than you, #21 Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night (This should be #1), #22 If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before, #23 Eat right, Exercise, stay fit, die anyway #24 The more money you make the more expensive the things you want to buy become. #25 Your job does not define you but it does set the parameters #26 You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment and even then I would act like nothing was happening #27 Everyone tells the truth...or is it lies? You decide, #28 Never pass up a chance to void your bladder, #29 Always look for the toilet paper before you close the door in a public restroom #30 Be careful about taking medical advice from the internet. You may die of a misprint.
Oh...did I mention gravity wins?
