Another True Story...

The following is a contribution from the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor:

My Phone the Racist

Today I found out my Phone is a racist. At first glance it appears to be a normal phone. 

It never seemed to be bigoted or hateful in anyway. Many times my phone would be around many different races and genders. Not once did the phone ever say or do anything that would make one suspect my phone has a seedy dark side. I remember once we went to the park and went on the swing together. And once we went to the movies and enjoyed a Tyler Perry picture.

Then today came. I was working feverishly trying to do good things. This process involved typing the word mother into a text message. Having the massively clumsy fingers that I have I spelled it m-o-h-e-r. Now, my phone can be pushy. It often changes words that I spell correctly into gibberish or into words that have no bearing on the message I wish to convey. When I typed out my alternative to mother my phone wanted to change it to the mother of all racial slurs. Yes the “N” word. So, when this happened I was in the presence of the Big Scary Editor. The BSE is a large black man and he is the authority  We at State Controlled Media go to whenever there is a question of racial sensitivity. BSE was in a state of shock when he saw the flagrant, abusive, invidious (thank you to Contributing editor for word)  attitude. It could have been hysterical laughter, I mean the kind of laughing where you spit and eyes roll down your face; however we believe that the BSE was so distraught that it was a sad cry and he was choking on sadness.  I would like to apologize to all peoples of the Earth for my phone’s behavior.

Another Reason Dogs are Better Than Cats...

SCI-FI Story Updated...

Parts 19 through 24 are up Click HERE to read or use the tool bar. ENJOY (that is an order).

Telling you what to watch…

Tucker and Dale vs Evil

Many times we press play on a highly recommend movie and it looks like PSBE daughter filmed it using her grandpa’s old Camcorder. Other times we watch a movie that received awards (or just nominations) and instead of being a good movie they turn out to be “Art”. So when either of these situations occur, we watch the film with great trepidation. Such was the case with Tucker and Dale vs Evil. When the movie started it looked amateurish. So much so it was off putting. But we persevered. As the title might suggest this is a horror film. We want to call it a send-up or spoof but it wasn’t really. It is not like Scary Movie, it had a serious edge to it under the campiness (most horror films are campy anyway). It falls in the category of “We can’t believe someone hasn’t made this film already!”

***SPOILER ALERT***

Tucker and Dale are best friends. Tucker buys a vacation home which happens to be on the opposite side of a lake where college kids are camping. The kids think Tucker and Dale are deranged hillbillies. The Kids start dying off in unfortunate accidents and they think Tucker and Dale are responsible. Tucker and Dale think they have wandered into a group of psychotic college kids in the middle of a suicide pact.

Pure brilliance, dark humor and gore; even when you know what is about to happen, it doesn’t take away the fun of the movie. This movie came highly recommended by NETFLIX it gave it 4 and one half stars. So a movie that came highly recommended and it looked homemade, starting out it had two strikes. But we loved it. So, watch it!

P.S. THIS BINARY was taken from the movie.

P.P.S. We just found out it was also an award winning movie and critically acclaimed so by all rights this movie should suck. Three strikes! How do you come back from that? It does it though.

Your Binary Inspiration...

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SCM TIP...

 

Since this year marks the end of the world as we know it we feel it is important to be prepared. So we at State Controlled Media are going to give a series of TIPS to help you prepare. Our first installment is on staying hydrated. Many survivalist websites suggest using old milk containers and other recycled canisters to store water in. We have something better. Yoo-Hoo. It never spoils as long as the seal is not broken. So keep a copious supply on hand in case of emergency and in case the Mayans (who could not predict their on demise) could see thousands of years into the future and knew that 2012 really was the end!

SCI-FI Story UPDATED!!

HECK Parts 15-18 are up! Click HERE to read it or select it on the tool bar.

Another REason Dogs are Better Than Cats...

 

Dogs give a better welcome home!

(Thanks to Mrs. Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor for this contribution!)