Maybe it is Just Us but...

Normally we at State Controlled Media claim the mantel of kings of propaganda. However we know when we have been bested. You may have been following a news story out of the former Soviet Union about a protest concerning the imprisonment of a punk rock band. U.S. pundits would have you believe this is getting so much attention due to the nature of the protests. It’s over free speech and feminism. We knew little about it as we try not to pay attention to the competitors. The Big Scary Editor suggested we look it up. So we Googled “Russian Riot” and we immediately understood why this protest turned riot has garnered so much attention.  The “images” section came up with its previews concerning the news we just asked for info on and we saw this:

Russia has turned its abuse of free speech into a brilliant marketing campaign.  We also saw this:

You see what we mean?  Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. Even with our formidable intellect we could not begin to hope that we could turn human rights violations and suppressing the feminist voices into a marketing campaign. What is even more amazing is that the protesters are playing right into the governments hands. It may not appeal to all men. But We suspect that when word gets around there will be droves of men going to Russia looking to Free Pussy.

Sorry feminists…

P.S.

The original photos are bellow

People Who Did Us Wrong...

The Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor is a man who appreciates the small things in life. We believe that it is the little things that make life so enjoyable. A giggle of a small child, birds chirping on a spring day, a lazy afternoon when you can nap in a warm breeze, McDonalds dollar menu, finding a quarter on the ground. These are all wonderful things; however they pale in comparison to the majesty of the 44oz Diet Mountain Dew.

 

Many a lousy day has reversed in character due to the intervention of this glorious liquid. Yet universal forces often intervene in the smooth process of purchasing and imbibing in the aforementioned liquid. Woe a many of days when the PSBE goes to his preferred filling station (it’s the cheapest) and they are either out of the green deliciousness or they are in the process of replacing the tank. Knowing that his favorite beverage has to be the beverage of choice of all State Controlled Media followers, the PSBE understands that this interruption is going to happen from time to time.

No, this is not the sickening, abhorrent, loathsome act that inspired this post. This is dedicated to the vile human who often gets to the soda fountain just before the PSBE. This person dumps whatever is left of the homemade brew they were drinking into the overflow basin in order to fill up there cup with Diet Pepsi (we only assume it is Diet Pepsi as that is the most vile drink in existence so this person must be drinking that).  We know it was homemade as no reputable establishment sells ice-cubes made like that and the liquid clinging to the disfigured cubes seems to be some hellish coffee-Pepsi-milk-vomit blend.

This person could dump their putrid concoction in the sink provided to the left of the soda dispenser or in the trashcan outside or in the bushes next to the facility or anywhere in the mother gia loving Earth. But no, they have to pour it right where the offending vapors (of the beverage of choice of Satan) and pierce the nasal cavity of the PSBE and take away the enjoyment of the most wonderful beverage in existence.

Whoever you are we say to you…BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Telling You What to Watch…

...THE MUMMY

Once in a while you are treated with a gift you didn’t know you wanted/needed. We remember Christmas of the past where we got gifts we didn’t ask for but they were better than the gifts that we did ask for.  Some could argue that these are the best gifts. Also, another great time is when you get a gift when you were no expecting one; the random out of the blue moment when the world aligns perfectly in order to present you a present. Combine that with getting the gift you didn’t know you needed/wanted and…well…it is a good moment.

Last weekend we were at the State Controlled Media mobile headquarters. While we are there, we have little contact with the outside world. When the time of night comes when outdoor activities cease we move indoors to view our state of the art entertainment center. (20 year old 13 inch TV hooked up to an antenna).  Once the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor got tired of watching the Kansas City Chiefs loose and Star Trek was over a show came on. The premise of the show was to showcase old horror films. In this instance it was The Mummy from 1932. The PSBE and daughters PSBE #1 and #2 curled up in front of the big screen to watch. The PSBE didn’t believe that the children would want to watch the whole thing, but they did. PSBE daughter #2 fell asleep about an hour in. #1 daughter and the PSBE watched the whole thing.

How can we put this? It was great. Old movies lack a little flair that we’ve come to expect in today’s movies. This move is no exception. It was Dialog driven and Boris Karloff said more with a twitch of his eyes than a Riddly Scott movie says in 2 hours. It was more of a psychological thriller. People were attacked by the mummy through great distances and could protect themselves. Things happened when the screen went black. The best part of the movie was the female lead was the hero of the story. The lady beat The Mummy (the mummy was Imhotep, based off of the first architect of the Pyramids who was the do-it-all guy for the pharaoh Djoser ).

So watch the Mummy