Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi Oi Oi

A contributing editor suggested that the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor’s Canada fixation borders on obsessive. But we feel that it is important to incorporate our brothers to the north before we can expect the rest of the world to SUBMIT TO OUR AUTHORITY AND HAVE THEIR SPIRT CRUSHED UNDER THE WIEGHST OF OUR IMPOSSING BOOT PRESSED ON THE JUGULAR OF THEIR FREE WILL AND EVERYONE WILL DO AS WE SAY get to enjoy our missives. So, this is one final plea to our followers to encourage Canadians to get with the program. We decided to show ou another reason why we want Canada involved…we really like their flag:

 

Oh…the Title of the post is a shameless attempt to get more Australian hits to the site, sorry.

Your Dialy Binary Inspiration

 

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Another Reason Dogs Are Better Than Cats:

Dogs Make Better Doctors

Great Moments In History

Big Numbers = Big Thanks

We at State Controlled Media are happy to announce an all time record was set yesterday. Traffic to the site was historic (not to hard considering we have only been up and running for a month). The hits received were 15% of the hits we received all time. Not too shabby-that’s what we are telling ourselves. We are also happy to announce that SCM has been viewed in three additional countries since our global post. Still no Canada though. I mean c’mon! Malaysia found us…Malaysia. We could understand Mexico due to the language differences and our general misunderstanding of all things Mexican.

What we think Mexico looks like:

So what’s the holdup Canuckers? Get with the program. If you are a follower of SCM and either know a Canadian or you are a Canadian, have someone in Canada look us up. And we will fly the Canadian flag over SCM headquarters with the rest of them. And while we are at it, hello, Micronesia what no internet there???  

It falls to you, our loyal followers to get the word out. We can’t do it alone. Besides why should you be the only people to suffer?

Stuff We Like...

The Stuff We Like and You Should Too section has a few new entries. Some of them are very good. It goes beyond all reason that we should divert traffic away from our site to others but we have every intention of someday incorporating everyone into a central hub to RULE THE WORLD make it easy for you.So you only have to go to one place for all your favorite things.


And...Tom Jones


UPDATE: We were informed that Mr. Jones is not going to divert any traffic our war. We were told to say Nicki Minaj, we don't know what that is but we trust our editors.

From the desk of the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor

Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat? Also, if corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from? Plus why are there so many "R" rated movies
without nudity? If a movie is already rated "R" due to violence,
drug use, language, etc., what does the producer or director think
he will lose by showing a little skin?

Telling you what to eat...

In this case it is more of a how to eat. We at State Controlled Media believe that pie is dangerous. Sure it can be fun to dive right in but we think that a precaution is in order so you should always put a fruit roll-up on your pie before you eat. Not only does it make sense it tastes great and can be good fun! Under no circumstances should you heat up the roll-up before applying it to the pie nor should you heat the pie with a fruit roll-up attached; things could get messy. Don't confuse this with pancake fruit rolls or fruit filled tortilla which are both fine ideas but this is a different application. You see a pre-warmed pie, apply fruit roll up, eat, enjoy!

Note From the Perpetual Benevolent Supreme Editor: This recipe has never been sampled by most of us at State Controlled Media and is the creation of one contributing editor. We suspect this came from the Japanese. Oh...Uh...Twilight saga, Jersey Shore, Tyler Lautner, Selina and Justin kissing.

UPDATE!! Another contributing editor suggested that Fruit Roll-Ups work equally well on a muffin.

Seriously people it was a joke...

In a previous post we suggested we were going to examine the phrase "like a mug". We at State Controlled Media never had any intention of examining the phrase in detail.Any explanation you need can be found at the Urban Dictionary, if you ignore all the references to coffe mugs. Then we got to thinking when have we ever turned down an opportunity to subvert the English language and local colloquialisms to advance our sinister benevolent agenda.So, let's look at it.

Like a mug literally means "like a mother f-er (remember we are pg-13)" as in "that hurt like a mug!" It was very popular in the early 90's when people took pains not to curse in public.It occurred to us that an entire generation could see this differently; the could think it means "like a muggle".

So we decided that it does mean like a muggle; more specifically like a muggle f-er.Hey we have to be edgy. I know the Harry Potter refereance probably turned half our dedicated readership away (both of you), still if would be worth it if we gained a small percentage of the Harry Potter fan base. In fact, we figured the more we say Harry Potter the more traffic search engines will point to us for having said Harry Potter or muggle.

Oh and Justin Bieber

A challange to our followers...

We at State Controlled Media like to take pride in our ability to read almost anything. The Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor has read War and Peace, Moby Dick (twice, he couldn't believe it was as bad as he thought it was and read it again to make sure),Le Mis, A+ Certification Manual, and the directions on how to assemble our children's bicycle.Which is why we were so distressed to wander upon this quote:


Solitude, though it may be silent as light, is like light, the mightiest of agencies; for solitude is essential to man. All men come into this world alone and leave it alone. -Thomas De Quincey Granted it's not Joyce, Faulkner or T.S. Elliot; but it took the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor 4 attempts to get through it. What we want to know is if you tire of reading it in the same spot as we did. Let us know, otherwise we will assume that you agree with us.

Your Dialy Binary Inspiration

01000010 01100001 01100100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101110 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100111 01101111 01101111 01100100 00100000 01110101 01101110 01110100 01101001 01101100 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01110011 01100101 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110000 01110000 01100101 01101110 01110011 00101110

In honor of our favorite football team's victory!

 

We have renamed Bowe, Baldwin and Breaston the Killer B's

20/20...

We At State Controlled Media have always been fascinated by the phrase, hindsight is 20/20. The premise is that you can see your mistakes clearly when you are throught the situation which induced you to have to make a decision in the first place. We have a few problems with this; first and foremost is when does anyone ever admit to having made a mistake? To be reflective on something you have to be able to admit you may have done something incorrect in the first place; doesn’t happen. Second, this phrase is usually uttered by someone who is reviewing what you or someone else has done. Example: “I see what you did there, but shouldn’t have stuck your hand in there, but hindsight is 20/20…” or “hindsight being 20/20 that is not how you use a vacuum cleaner.” It is just a polite way of saying you are a dumbass and you have no idea what you are doing. If you do look back and reflect it, it is never really what happened. Memories are subjective and we never fully appreciate the circumstances. It’s like looking at a box from only one side and telling everyone what the box looks like. Really, since when does getting further away from something help you see it more clearly? Usually it gets more difficult to see things the further you get from them and then you are left with just your memories and as we all know the further you get from the event the less horrible it seems; like child birth. We could be wrong, we’ll let you know. In hindsight.

Next up an examination of the phrase “Like a Mug.” A request from Mrs. Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor.

Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor Sighting

The Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor is a man of the people but he doesn't like to be around people. That is why every year on Halloween we at State Controlled Media are surprised to see him go out. A crafty contributing editor snapped a photo of the PSBE in costume. Check out the SCM Halloween party photo and see if you can find him

Update: Another contributing editor caught the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor out and about.

New Contributing Editor

A new Staffer started at State Controlled Media and we at SCM like nothing more than to show off and make a good first impression. So, two of our contributing editors showed up late, two were hung over and one was dressed like a cat. So welcome aboard! The bar has been set low, so please don’t trip!

Your Daily Binary Inspiration

01000111 01101111 01101111 01100100 00100000 01100111 01101001 01110010 01101100 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100010 01100001 01100100 00100000 01100111 01101001 01110010 01101100 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101110 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100111 01100101 01110100 00100000 01100011 01100001 01110101 01100111 01101000 01110100 00101110 00001101 00001010

Happy Halloween From SCM!

In honor of Halloween we at State Controlled Media have given you a REAL ghost picture. Enjoy and be safe!

The Numbers Are In!

It has been thirty-days since the People's Blog powered by State Controlled Media became operational. Since then we have received 1,000 hits to the blog. We don't know if this is good or not but we like to pat ourselves on the back so we are going to act like it is. So, YEAH!!!! We do think we can do better. It seems a lot of you do not read the blog between 9:30 pm and 5:00 am. Also most of you neglect it on Sundays. Apparently, a lot of you prefer to work during the day instead of checking for updates and re-reading previous entries. We promise to deliver a lot of Great good ok stuff for you to peruse each week. Our goal is to give two to three things to read each day, except on Sundays as you are not reading it anyway, or at least a neat picture. Also since we went PG-13 we promise that if you keep coming back we will post more picture of half-naked people. As always, follow State Controlled Media; don't make this harder than it has to be.

UPDATE: It has been suggested by a contributing editor that our numbers are purely a result of the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor checking the blog obsessively to see how many hits it has. The PSBE has declared this as an impossibility so ignore it.

Fourtune Found

We at State Controlled Media want to send out a special thanks to all of our supporters who have made it possible for us to amass this kind of wealth. This is the entire SCM treasury, on the very desk of the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor. We started our store in hopes of raising funds; We pretended to offer you products and you pretended to want to buy them. Mission accomplished; we now have more money than ever. In reality most of it came from the corners of the desk drawer of the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor, the parking lot of the Dollar Tree, stuck to the bottoms of our shoes and yes we raided our children's piggy bank (its OK, they said they didn't want them as they only like “silver money”).