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Saturday, October 8, 2011
Daily Binary Inspiration
01001001 01100110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110110 01100001 01101100 01110101 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01101101 01101111 01101110 01100101 01111001 00101100 01110100 01110010 01111001 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100010 01101111 01110010 01110010 01101111 01110111 00100000 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00101110 00100000 01000010 01100101 01101110 01101010 01100001 01101101 01101001 01101110 00100000 01000110 01110010 01100001 01101110 01101011 01101100 01101001 01101110
Friday, October 7, 2011
Your daily Binary Inspiration
Supernatural Awareness Month: Vampires Suck
We at State Controlled Media feel that this post will be very unpopular. WE have to dispel A LOT of false beliefs about vampires. First of all the ladies generally hate and are repulsed by vampires. The only reason people think vampires have all this magnetism and prowess is that vampires long ago started writing fiction about how cool they are (the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor tried this but he is generally such a distasteful person no one actually believed it). You have been exposed to them. Ask yourself this, did you ever have a boss that could suck the energy right out of a room? A vampire. Did you ever know a guy who could suck the fun out of any party? A vampire. Did you ever know any children that sucked the life right out of you? Vampires all.
If only vampires drank your blood and then mercifully killed you. God forbid you marry a vampire and they suck your life away for years if not forever. And what’s worse, and possibly the most insidious, is that you can’t tell just by looking at them. Many of them never smile and are generally dislikable people. Others though smile and take great pleasure removing joy form your life. The often will take on the roll of a facilitator of a good time then manipulate the circumstances so that it is impossible to enjoy yourself making the situation all the more frustrating. Here are some common vampire guises to watch for:
-Bosses- almost all bosses are vampires of some kind.
-Annoying neighbors-Mowing to early/late, obnoxious dogs (really hellhounds we will cover later), always “Dropping by” at the worst time, borrowing your stuff which then becomes there’s…we could go on.
-A new entry—needy facebook friends-people you have never met or not seen in 20 years demaning responses to their juvenile game requests or asinine posts “OH how clever are you?” or worse yet “please read my BLOG!!!”
-Small children-most children are born life suckers and eventually grow out of it.
-That guy-You know who I am talking about, when he shows up everyone whispers “who invited ‘That Guy’?”
-Oh Her-the center of gossip only revealed as the antagonist at the last second.
What you can do: Funny that this should have made it into the lore but Garlic it the number one Vampire prevention tool. They feed off a good time unless it has to do with flavorful feasting. The odors are too strong. You can also hide in a restroom when confronted by a vampire. A wooden stake through the heart is not necessary but it will make you feel better to ensure the SOB is good and dead. We need more research to decide whether or not holy water is better that the blessed garden hose. The Sun/UV lights only work because a lot of vampires are redheads and freckle easy. We have received anecdotal evidence that lead bullets work as well as silver but why risk it.
There is so much more to know about vampires but now you have the basics you can defend yourself accordingly. If you still have trouble spotting vampire remember, male and female vampires alike are drawn to extremely attractive people and will make complete asses of themselves.
Good luck,
Stay tuned for part three…hellhounds
State Controlled Media TIP
Today's TIP requires an illistration to properly instruct and advise please see bellow:
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Your Daily Binary Inspiration
Another REason Dogs Are BETTER Than Cats...
Dogs don't jump out of behind something to scare the dog poop out of you!
A Word From the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor
Greetings, cohorts. Yesterday was a historic day for State Controlled Media. We reached further and farther than ever before. It is all thanks to your efforts. By forcing State Controlled Media onto others you have spread the disinformation and we thank you for it. But our work is not done; there are still dissenters, people who have not fallen under the hegemonic control of the State Controlled Media. Hopefully the content of the blog will be interesting enough to guile innocents into reading and then they too will become conspirators in league with the State Controlled Media. As always YOUR contributions are always welcome. If you have an idea or would like to see The State Controlled Media focus its partisan eyes on a topic drop us a line (and you will receive none of the credit).
Remember you don’t need to follow us…State Controlled Media Follows YOU!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
A tale of two cerebral cortex part 2
That 70’s Shows’ circle scenes juxtapose the various personalities of each character against each other while dealing with a single problem they all share. The show then goes out and watches them as they each deal with their solutions. Each character’s personality dictates the response they will give; we contend that each person represents a part of the (in this case) male brain. (Female interaction in parenthesis.)
Eric-feminine, introspective, sensitive, tender and caring. He is often ridiculed and subjugated. (He is what women say they want.)
Hyde-suspicious, devious, deceitful, and brutally honest-By all accounts a despicable person yet loved by the group. Catalyst for violence at times. Ambivalent to all things feminine. ( What women really want; dangerous bad boy.)
Kelso-most masculine, vibrant, libidinous, dishonest, virile-Man’s man and ladies man what every guy wants to be outwardly. Confused by all things feminine. (What men believe is what women want.)
Fez-Inquisitive, socially awkward, shy but flamboyant, frustrated by all things feminine. What most men are. Ignored by the other parts of the circle as irrelevant. (What women get after they are dumped by the bad boy and they are no longer a viable choice for the pretty boy and the sensitive guy they say they wanted has already been taken.)
Red-Aggressive, hostile, protector, demanding borderline abusive. Not part of the circle, but these are the father traits and fun has no place in fatherhood. Often his ideas are the one that are proven to be correct.
Combined each of these person can be combined to expose the major portions of the male mind. Depending on what environmental stressors a man is exposed too, will dictate what trait will be dominant.
Part 3 coming soon…
Your Daily Binary Inspiration
We have a vision…
We have a vision of the world where a Chicken can cross the road without having its motives questioned.
While we are at it; why is it when a priest, a rabbi and minister/shaman/Islamic cleric/dalai lama/duck walk into a bar they are not praised for their ability to put their differences aside and imbibe instead of being exploited for petty entertainment?
When will we learn not to exploit the innocent actions of others for our own amusement?
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
State Controlled Media TIP
The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
If you don't believe me go ghoti!
Your Daily Binary Inspiration
01010100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01101100 00100000 01110100 01110010 01101111 01110101 01100010 01101100 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01101100 01101001 01110100 01111001 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100111 01110011 00100000 01101110 01101111 00100000 01100010 01100001 01100011 01101011 01100111 01110010 01101111 01110101 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101101 01110101 01110011 01101001 01100011 00101110
Supernatural Awareness Month
Little did you know but we at State Controlled Media have declared October as Supernatural Awareness Month. For the rest of this month we will be posting tips on how to deal with specters, ghouls, monsters of all sorts and annoying neighbors.
As we always say preparedness is key for survival of any situation so pay special attention. To save space for future posts here are a few items that come in handy:
-Holy water; an all-purpose supernatural repellant. Think what Drakkar Noir does for super models. Also it is just water and all emergency situations require water.
-Cross; Regardless of your religious affiliation, all spirits and monsters are afraid of Christians (asking them to go to a barbecues or attend church on Sunday). They are especially afraid of Catholics…you understand.
-UV spotlight, all evil is put off by light and these bright lights can incapacitate or even kill some supernatural ghouls. Eye protection is a must! A decent one will cost you around $125 but it is worth it as when you are not fighting the evil dead you can tan with it.
-Silver Bullets; Most creatures of the night can be dispatched with regular bullets but why take a chance? Some creatures require silver to do the deed and even though it is more expensive…safety first. (A contributing editor pointed out that I should remind everyone that not only do you need a gun to shoot the bullets but the bullet should match the gun. If you don’t know what I mean then happy hunting!)
-Mirror; most creatures of the night despise looking at themselves. Worst case scenario you can hit them with it. (Note: almost all mirrors have silver in them!)
This would be a good starter kit to fend off all supernatural pesky problems. It is doubly effective against troublesome neighbors. In case of a neighbor problem you can use substitutions: a hose instead of holy water; a club instead of cross (though if a neighbor believes you are a holy roller and they are not the will stay away; however if your neighbor is a holy roller a cross will only increase your attraction), UV spotlight work well if you have a peeping tom or you want to temporarily blind them, regular bullets will do the trick and last keep the mirror. If all else fails the mirror will show your neighbor what a douche they are being.
Stay tuned for part 2: Vampires and you...
Monday, October 3, 2011
A tale of two cerebral cortex
It has been proven scientifically that men and women have brains that function differently. I know shocker, right? Factor in environmental and sociological stressors and the void grows. The purpose of this epistle is not to point by point delineate the differences in the male and female brain; instead it is to draw upon a pop culture reference to illustrate, in a metaphorical sense, personality variations. It came to me in a light discussion with co-workers.
The pop culture reference I am going to use is That 70’s Show. The men of the show represent the men of real life and the women do the same. When I say that I don’t mean to infer that one single character represents any one person. No, I say that this show’s characters taken together reproduce the psyche of either sex. This is part one of a three part expose that will break down the differences in the sexes based on the static characters in That 70’s Show. Most of the times these characters operate separate from each other and deal with the morass of their lives occasionally the characters come together to confab in the “circle” in this aspect you can see how the mind operates in conjunction with the various conflictions we all have. Stay tuned...
Telling you what to eat
Fried Mashed Potato Balls This falls squarely in the realm of we thought we had an original idea. There is one thing the people hate is leftovers; so after examining the contents of the people fridge we found the dreaded day-old mashed potatoes. the somewhat dried out starchy Solanum tuberosum. Then we thought what makes everything better? Bacon! Then we thought what goes great with both bacon and potatoes? Cheese? So, we decided, following that logical progression of life giving food combination; the only thing left to do is fry it! As excited as we were about or potential historic leftover revelation we were as equally crushed by one of our contributing editors (rather soul crushing) pointing out the recipe already exists.
Your Daily Binary Inspiration
01001001 00100000 01101100 01101001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00101110 00100000 01010000 01100101 01101111 01110000 01101100 01100101 00100000 01110011 01100001 01111001 00100000 01001001 00011001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100111 01101111 01110100 00100000 01101110 01101111 00100000 01110100 01100001 01110011 01110100 01100101 00101100 00100000 01100010 01110101 01110100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01101100 01101001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00101110 00001101 00001010 00001101 00001010
State Controlled Media TIP:
For a secure connection; Insert tab A into slot B, repeat as necessary...
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Your Daily Binary Inspiration
00100010 01000100 01101111 01101110 00011001 01110100 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01101000 01110101 01101101 01100010 01101100 01100101 00100000 00101101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01100111 01110010 01100101 01100001 01110100 00101110 00100010 00001010 00101101 00100000 01000111 01101111 01101100 01100100 01100001 00100000 01001101 01100101 01101001 01110010 00100000
A Trip from the 60’s…the 1860’s Part 2
Horse squeeze aside we did enjoy our time at the commemoration. The players reenacted the fake battle of Herman.
Side note-there is one Civil war grave in Herman which was held in some reverence by the visitors who felt the brave soldier should be honored, local tradition tells that he died in a bar fight, but whatever.
The local displayed a real 1860’s working farm. From boot-making to music; the place had it all. There was bona fide cuisine for the era that you could sample. The food tended to lean in the distinct southern style. Which brings me to a point; the historians point out that the real causes of the civil war were entirely economic and everything else was so much window dressing.
We can tell you for sure this is 100% accurate. A two ounce cup of black-eyed-peas and sausage cost $2! And a glass of lemonade was $3! No wonder the south wanted to form its own economic system. We asked if the food was authentic and was told that it was. Adjusted for inflation the little bit of stew would cost you and me about $48; and the lemonade would have been nearly $75! It was good lemonade but not that good.
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