Saturday, December 3, 2011
Your Daily Binary
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Friday, December 2, 2011
Telling You What to Eat...
Bacon burger dog!
You can thank us later.
Mix onion and spices into ground beef. Roll a hot dog in the beef; then wrap bacon around the whole thing. Slow roast it on a grill or in your oven and you are in business! Many variations are possible.
here is a recipe for Jalapeno Cheddar Bacon Burger Dog.
What? You want to live forever?
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Your Daily Binary
01010011 01101100 01100101 01100101 01110000 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110011 01111001 01101101 01110000 01110100 01101111 01101101 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100011 01100001 01100110 01100110 01100101 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100100 01100101 01110000 01110010 01101001 01110110 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 00101110 00001010
People Who Did Us Wrong-Coffee Lovers
That's right You heard us. Now we at State Controlled Media are not talking about people who drink coffee, nor or we speaking about people who have to drink coffee or they will die! No, these insufferable, elitist, pompous, self-righteous hipsters are a menace to society. They pay more than five dollars for a cup of coffee that may be worth less than two bucks. They have special bistros that sell coffee and have special tables to sit at and drink their coffee. They pay exorbitant amounts of money for specially grown beans to make special coffee. Sometimes they feed them to rodents and then brew the poop, really... They don't just drink the coffee; they make an event out of it. Father Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor would pour a cup, drink it and get on with his day. No fancy mugs, no frothing, no matching outfits, no long discussions about how it was brewed or where the beans came from. Black Java in gullet task complete. Cheap coffee distributors started selling their coffee in odd cups so people could look like they were pay six dollars a cup an really only spend a dollar. This type of thinking is not exclusive to coffee drinkers, many people take things to far to prove that they way they do it makes them better than you. For instance people who LOVE Jazz. The PSBE loves Jazz but hates people who LOVE Jazz. Drinking Coffee an activity not a lifestyle people.There is only one addiction to a substance we approve of:
Telling you what to watch-Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World…
A long drawn out narrative would not do any good here. The movie is so diverse that we at State Controlled Media feel the best way to do this is to list the reasons to watch:
-Crazy Ex girlfriends each with unique idiosyncrasies.
-Crazy Ex boyfriends each with special ass kicking powers.
-Righteous punkish rock soundtrack.
-Lesbian half Ninja
-Asian catholic school girl who kicks ass and is a little crazy.
-Massive video game references.
-Director Kevin Smith said that after watching the movie “nobody is going to understand what the fuck just hit them.”
So there you have it. It is by far the most unique movie we have ever seen. In an effort to be balanced here are a few reasons that you may hate the movie:
-Crazy Ex girlfriends each with unique idiosyncrasies.
-Crazy Ex boyfriends each with special ass kicking powers.
-Righteous punkish rock soundtrack.
-Lesbian half Ninja
-Asian catholic school girl who kicks ass and is a little crazy.
-Massive video game references.
-Director Kevin Smith said that after watching the movie “nobody is going to understand what the fuck just hit them.”
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
What to watch...Muppets
There is nothing more for us to say. It is a Muppet movie and it is great. That is not why we wrote this post. A contributing editor claimed she did not want to watch the Muppet Movie, understandable (not really). When the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor ever so gently queried as to why, she responded “I don't like going to the movies.”
What the F??? Don't Like going to the movies. Saying I don't want to go to the Muppet Movie is saying, “no thank you I don't like Pizza.” And when pressed why you don't like pizza you say “I hate life in general”
We at State Controlled Media pity you and your sad existence.
From the Desk of the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor...
We had a suggestion for the State Controlled Media store, The conversation went like this:
Contributing Editor: Hey, PSBE!
PSBE: You may speak.
CE: I have an Idea for the SCM store:
PSBE: You have intrigued us; prey continue.
CE: One word, Birth control!
PSBE side note (Insert facepalm here)
So I took the sugestion under advismnent, only I cannot figure how to bottle my personality.
Contributing Editor: Hey, PSBE!
PSBE: You may speak.
CE: I have an Idea for the SCM store:
PSBE: You have intrigued us; prey continue.
CE: One word, Birth control!
PSBE side note (Insert facepalm here)
So I took the sugestion under advismnent, only I cannot figure how to bottle my personality.
Your Dialy Binary
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Happy Birthday
We at State Controlled Media make it a Comandment Law Order policy not to acknowlege individuals. But since we have supreme authority of all mankind!!! run the site we can break the rules...
Today, the 30th of November, is the birthday of a major influence of the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor. Like the PSBE Samuel Langhorne Clemens was born in the great state of Missouri. Mr. Clemens was an abject failure at everything he tried until he took pen to paper and began to point out the fallacies, vanities and hypocrisies of the human condition. As the PSBE has learned it is possible to say anything you want and be as harsh as you like as long as the object of your intended ire also laughs, or that there is enough people around to laugh and swear that you meant no harm. Mr. Clemens often took positions that were outside of what would be socially acceptable at the time and to this day seem a little out of place (on the other hand many of us would be out of place in anytime). We believe that Mr. Clemens was celebrated in his time only because no one knew what else to do with him…the execution of smart asses is generally frowned upon. His wit is unequalled and his style is unmatched 100 years since his death. So without his knowledge or consent (just the way we like it), Mark Twain is an honorary contributor to the site. If he were still alive we would not acknowledge his existence and we would take credit for his work. If he were here we hope he would call this blog irreverent, coarse, vulgar, and ribald.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Your Daily Binary
00100010 01000011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101101 01100101 00101110 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110000 01101100 01101111 01110111 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101100 01101001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01000011 01100001 01101100 01100111 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000 01100100 01110010 01101001 01110110 01100101 01110111 01100001 01111001 00100000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01000011 01101000 01110010 01101001 01110011 01110100 01101101 01100001 01110011 00101110 00100010 00001010 01001010 01101111 01101000 01101110 00100000 01000011 01101100 01100101 01100101 01110011 01100101 00101100 00100000 00100010 01001101 01101111 01101110 01111001 00100000 01010000 01111001 01110100 01101000 01101111 01101110 00100010 00100000 00001010
Branson Edition: Trail of Tears, Trail of Lights...
During our travels in Branson we wandered across the advertizement that offered the opportunity for the paying customer to traverse two and one-half miles of forestry with appropriately lighted adornments. Now we had just seen a faux Osage mountain municipality gussied up with over six million Christmas lights. The need to see an additional 2.5 miles of lights-as much as the PSBE loves lights, this seemed an excessive use of time. We tried to explain to Mrs. PSBE the logistical problem at hand. The traffic was moving at a snails pace through the winding, wooded road. We told Mrs. PSBE that it would take an hour to get through.
Mrs. PSBE: “...I don't understand? Why?”
We explained that a 2.5 mile road at 2.5 miles per hour would mean it would take an hour to get through.
Mrs PSBE: “I see (she didn't)...whatever as long as it doesn't cost to much.
Cost!? Why would we pay money to see an illuminated forest? The PSBE pointed out that if anyone accompanying him wanted to see this section of of the world illuminated they were welcome to stay until the next day and view it for free. There is nearly nine hours of daylight this time of year.
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