(and We are not talking about Cameron Diaz movies)
Mrs. PSBE and I went to see a movie
called “Now You See Me” to celebrate our 17th
anniversary. This is not a review of that move. (I liked it, then
hated it.) Then last night We sat down for family movie night and
watched “Life of Pi” (good flick if a little sappy). These movies got me thinking so no, this is
not a movie review but a critique of the movie industry as a whole.
More good movies have been coming out lately; and by good we mean
entertaining, not thought provokiing, not art, ENTERTAINMENT. The
Acadamy awards still suck, but that is for another day. Cinema is on
the verge of being ruined by a technology meant to enhance the
viewing pleasure. It is making modern films almost unwatchable.
Years ago, I was a mild fan of Brittney
Spears. (insert mocking here, I'll wait)...........Done Yet?
Anyway, I enjoyed her first album that
is until the PSBE brother-in-law pointed out that Ms. Spears had a
groan/moan/throatclearing sound she made before almost every line of
music she sang. After he pointed it out, I no longer could listen to
her music without hearing it. Why do I bring this up? Because I am
about to do to you for movies what he did to me for Britney. If you
would like to go on enjoying your movies stop reading now.
You were warned. 3-D is killing the
movies. I do not watch a lot of movies in 3-D. I really like the
modern High-Def movie screens and killer surround sound that theaters
have. So I tend to notice, or have noticed that movies are not
geared to take advantage of my preferred viewing habit. It is even
more prevalent when I watch movies at home on a much smaller screen.
The perspective in modern film is pointed right at you. Many movies
are made with the 3-D effect in mind therefore they need things to
fly at you. Swords, balls, tigers (Life of PI I'm talking to you)
something/anything to make the 3-D genre viable. If you are watching
a movie in 3-D that really shouldn't be in 3-D it helps make you feel
less guilty about paying to much to see it; however not needed or out
of place it seems. Once you realize what they are doing it takes you
out of the moment and the film can be lost to you.
It is really agrevating when you are
watching a movie in the theater that was clearly meant for 3-D (most
animated movies that come out now, I am talking to you) that has one
sight gad after another that the movie either runs to long or any
sense of a story gets interrupted for the sole purpose of launching
something at the audience. Want proof? Look for this:
It happens a lot now. It is a cheap way
to get the 3-D moment to the viewers. AS much as I hate the constant
pointing at me and the lack of cinematic perspective there is
something even more insidous and vile happening.
When a movie is in 3-D and has no
business being in 3-D. It was not designed nor intended by the film
makers to be in 3-D. The studio head says, “hey this is a block
buster movie we have to release it in 3-D!” I have one question,
have you ever seen 3-D glasses? It looks something like this:
No matter what you do the glasses
darken the viewing experience, and if you are going to see a film
that is DARK it can make the screen a little hard to see. If the movie is not rendered for 3-D and it was a cheap cash grab by the studio or the theater doesn't have the equipment to show the movie correctly (Goodrich Quality Theaters, I am talking to you) then it takes away from the experience rather than adding to it. Then you
wear glasses for three hours for no reason. Unless...
Still that is not the worst part. The
movies that have been released or re-released (talking to you Star
Wars!!) that have no potential for good 3-D experience. In fact some
movies can have as little as 20% of the film in actual 3-D rendering.
Next time you watch a 3-D movie lift up your glasses. The blurrier
the picture the more 3-D effect is being used. Sometimes you can lift
your glasses and the picture is perfectly clear (Star Wars, Toy Story
3)! The clarity and depth you are seeing at that moment is being
enjoyed by all the people one theater over in High-Def 2-D for a
fraction of the cost.
AN I am stuck watching a movie with things pointing/flying at my face for no good reason.
