Now You See Me
The Mrs. and I were in the mood for some
cinema. You see we were celebrating our 17th anniversary
and there is nothing better than to sit in a dark room with
strangers. As we were both Will Smith fans we really wanted to check
out his new movie After Earth. Now as this is State Controlled Media
and it is our job to tell you what to watch and not the other way
around, we rarely listen to the average movie goers reviews. We do
listen to professionals though. And when you see “Quite simply,
this is one of the worst films of 2013” Chicago Sun Times and
“Surprise — this bad dream is for real.” St Louis Post-Dispatch
it gives you pause. So entertained by the negativity we decided to
see what the people thought and their sentiments ranged along the
same lines. While doing this we saw a lot of positive buzz for “Now
You See Me” from the average person. The critics were giving it 5
out of 10 and the people were going 7. So we settled in on this
movie.
The cast was great. Jesse (I play the
same character in every movie) Eisenberg, Mark (shave
already)Ruffalo, Woody (I give believability and likability to any
character I play) Harrelson, Dave (the lesser known and possibly more
talented and charming) Franco, Morgan (could you read the phone book
for me) Freeman and Michael (Same as Morgan) Cain. The female
character was flat uninteresting and played wooden by whatever her
name was. She was so unlikable it wasn't worth the time to look her
up. I am tempted to go over the plot as I have seen many discussions
amongst the professional and amateur reviewers alike. I will not do
this. The plot is meaningless. The beginning was fast paced and like
any good magic show the misdirection was enough to trick you into
thinking you are watching a decent movie.
A third of the way through it, the
movie slowed down enough for me to start thinking. The last thing you
want is the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor to have time to
think. After 5 minutes of nothing happening I realized I hate this
movie. The big reveal at the end shows how the magicians robbed banks
and did their tricks. This only reinforced me hating this movie. The
magicians simple tricks to robbing banks were so complicated and
convoluted that it would have been more difficult to do than digging
through the concrete and steel reinforced walls of a bank vault with
a plastic spoon. That is how impossible it all was.
Every person who rated this 7 or higher
(as of this writing it is an average 7.5 on most sites) and every
critic who gave it 5 or higher (all scales out of ten) are missing
the point. Who cares about the plot holes and the fact magic tricks
are easy to do in a movie when there is no real effort involved! The
movie was plain stupid! The big reveal at the end sucked the life out
of everything you just watched. And don't even get me started on the
motivations of the magicians in the first place. Their goal was to
become so well known they can NEVER be seen in public again and steel
millions of dollars and not keep any of it. S-T-U-P-I-D.
Damn you Will Smith for not making a
better movie so we didn't have to watch this steaming heap!
I think I just got Played by M. Night
And he really didn't make a movie and it was all a trick to get me to
see Now You See Me...
