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Telling You What to Eat...

Bacon burger dog!
You can thank us later.
Mix onion and spices into ground beef. Roll a hot dog in the beef; then wrap bacon around the whole thing. Slow roast it on a grill or in your oven and you are in business! Many variations are possible. 
here is a recipe for Jalapeno Cheddar Bacon Burger Dog. 

What? You want to live forever?

Another Reason Dogs Are Better Than Cats...

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People Who Did Us Wrong-Coffee Lovers

That's right You heard us. Now we at State Controlled Media are not talking about people who drink coffee, nor or we speaking about people who have to drink coffee or they will die! No, these insufferable, elitist, pompous, self-righteous hipsters are a menace to society. They pay more than five dollars for a cup of coffee that may be worth less than two bucks. They have special bistros that sell coffee and have special tables to sit at and drink their coffee. They pay exorbitant amounts of money for specially grown beans to make special coffee. Sometimes they feed them to rodents and then brew the poop, really... They don't just drink the coffee; they make an event out of it. Father Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor would pour a cup, drink it and get on with his day. No fancy mugs, no frothing, no matching outfits, no long discussions about how it was brewed or where the beans came from. Black Java in gullet task complete. Cheap coffee distributors started selling their coffee in odd cups so people could look like they were pay six dollars a cup an really only spend a dollar. This type of thinking is not exclusive to coffee drinkers, many people take things to far to prove that they way they do it makes them better than you. For instance people who LOVE Jazz. The PSBE loves Jazz but hates people who LOVE Jazz. Drinking Coffee an activity not a lifestyle people.There is only one addiction to a substance we approve of:

From the Desk of the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor...