We at State Controlled Media are a sickly bunch. The Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor expresses his surprise everyday when most of us actually make it into work. We thought about listing the various diagnosis but we figure it would be more fun to list the symptoms and you can fill in with the disease.
Editor 1: caffeine causes heart palpitations and near death.
Editor 2: part of heart removed, seems to be turning inside out.
Editor 3: May have a brain tumor (we believe that he just wants one really, really bad)
Editor 4: goes near a chocolate bar and can’t sit down for a week.
Editor 5,6,7,8: Mentally handicapped (they really are just probably stupid).
Editor 9: if she ever sobers up will ask her if she has an ailment.
Editor 10: we are pretty sure that he is a very sick man. It could be that he is just old bald and creepy.
Editor 11: We were sure that nothing could kill this man, until he ate a peanut and crawled into a fetal position and cried for a few hours.
And in the interest of fairness the PSBE has hemorrhoids (which is the stupidest spelled word!!) now this is not a symptom but because the PSBE is a giant asshole this is a crippling condition…
