The “Oh I don't (Fill in the blank with your favorite activity/food/waste of time) guy.
You know this conversation. You are eager to share how exciting the season finally of Son's of Anarchy (Possibly the greatest show on TV.) You an another person get to discuss your various viewpoints and a third party (without being asked) interjects about how they don't watch TV or even worse don't own a TV. We get it you are superior to us because you don't partake in watching the byproduct of countless hours of hard work by talented craftsmen, writers, actors and directors. Yeah we suck. This concept applies to a lot of other categories:
Oh, I don't drink alcohol.
Oh, I don't drink caffeinated beverages.
Oh, I don't eat fatty food.
Oh, I don't red meat.
Oh, I don't eat anything that has a face.
Oh, I don't eat anything that is not organic.
Oh, I don't wear synthetic clothing.
Oh, I don't wear leather.
Oh, I don't read magazines.
Oh, I don't read fiction.
Oh, I don't read blogs.
Oh, I don't chew my own toenails.
Oh, I don't go on Facebook.
Oh, I don't play video games.
Oh, I don't celebrate Thanksgiving.
Oh, I don't celebrate Christmas.
Oh, I don't own a car.
Oh, I don't watch squid porn.
Oh, I don't go to movies.
Oh, I don't pay attention to pop culture.
Oh, I don't believe in having fun and living life nor enjoying myself and since I don't, I am going to try and suck the fun out of life for you as well.
We at State Controlled Media have heard all of these in real life...OK so we made the last one up; but it is what they should be saying. The Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor once worked in an establishment where there were TVs for the customers to watch whilst otherwise engaged (the lifetime ban he received from the establishment and possible pending litigation prevents us from disclosing the name of the establishment). A patron came up to him and objected to what was on the TV the PSBE offered up the remote. The patron recoiled from the remote as if he was offered up an steaming pile of dogshit. He said, “Oh, I don't watch TV, I don't even know how to use that thing.” That “Thing” was the remote. He had no interest in watching TV but he just didn't want others to get to see what was on. It was a particular news show from a certain news outlet which he had never watched but found objectionable as it was likely they disagreed with his point of view. Like most people who start a sentence with “Oh, I don't...” he was more interested in what other people are doing rather than just living his own life and leaving us the hell alone.
By the way We at State Controlled Media do all of the above and we have a damn good time.
