State Controlled Media has an official dog. It is a dog that cost the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor a lot of money; while still being a mutt. We have to give credit to where it is due. Somewhere someone came up with the term ‘designer dog’ to describe mutts and they were able to charge a lot of money for something that was normally given away. Anyway, it is a well-known fact that the PSBE has a fondness for M&M’s (any type will due; although PSBE father is a strict peanut man). Just about every evening the PSBE likes to sit in the SCM recliner and throw back a few M&Ms.
Eventually he misses his mouth and that is when the PSBE dog does her magic.
You see through magic or the science behind making a designer dog she seems to have gained super powers. This also could be the reason behind her not shedding and the drain from the SCM budget for grooming (the money disappears like magic). The PSBE speculates that the origins of her super powers are evil. You see, when the PSBE drops an M&M the dog breaks the sound barrier to get to the M&M before the PSBE can get out of his chair
Then, breaking all of natural laws, the PSBE Dog goes to warp speed to avoid the retrieval of said M&M.
By this time the candy is no longer edible and the treat has lost all of its potential deliciousness. But chocolate is bad for dogs so we do our best to keep her from eating it. Somehow while travailing at warp speed the dog can still consume food. The PSBE believes that it is evil at work due to his M&M deprivation. We believe he has been out smarted by a dog.
