Your Crazy Binary

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Hot Naked Chicks, Hot Naked Men...

So this is kind of a test. A contributing editor suggested that we named the site without forethought. They suggested that nothing about the name means funny or inviting, though provoking or insightful. In fact it actually would drive people away. They suggested we should have named a blog Hot Naked Chicks. We thought about it, and we like the title; however we wanted to test the theory. We decided that if we named a blog entry  Hot Naked Chicks and Hot Naked Men and people don't click on the link because it says State Controlled Media, then there is a real possibility that no matter what we post people will avoid the blog on  that criteria alone. If that is indeed the case this blog may very well be renamed Get a Hot Naked Chick with 100 Million Dollars...

Telling You What to Watch....

The Tourist...

Starring Angelina Jolie and some guy who vaguely resembled Captain Jack Sparrow except older, pasty, and bloated. This really could be a segment of "What you didn't know about the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor." You see the PSEBE has a serious man crush on Angelina Jolie. (Yeah we know...all evidence points to Angelina being female but we are not so sure. So we labeled his affections towards "her" as a man crush.) His infatuation started while watching a horrible movie call Cyborg 2on the USA network Up All Night segment. It was a glorious Saturday night and the PSBE was settled in for the night ready to watch Star Trek. Well as luck would have it the PSBE's favorite show was usurped for some "Emergency" new broadcast. So to punish himself he turned to USA, where they were playing Cyborg 2. Normally they played movies that stopped short of being porn or were so horribly written the PSBE was sure the studios just needed to get rid of old film or needed a tax write off. Sometimes they played some kick ass karate movies. This night they introduced Angelina to the world in a crappy sci-fi movie.

The PSBE has never been the same since. He has watched everything she has been in including crap like Pushing Tin and A Mighty Heart (in which she played a black woman);

as well as pure gold like Original Sin and Gia.

So, with great relish and anticipation he turned on The Tourist. Let's hear his thoughts:

SCM: What did you think?

PSBE: Angelina was beautiful, possibly at her most elegant. The setting was a picturesque Italy and it paled in comparison to her loveliness. She moved through the scenes if on a cloud and her lovely face enveloped the screen in ways you would think only an angel could achieve. Also, she….

SCM: PSBE!

PSBE: Yes?

SCM: What about the movie?

PSBE: Oh, that. It was just short of pure crap. A contrive plot where characters outlandish motives were barely flashed out in fact when the big secret is revealed the plot seemed pointless. It was like a writer saying “look how cleaver I am. I will lull you to sleep and when you do fall asleep I will make a big reveal and since you were asleep and you don’t wan to admit you paid good money to watch a movie and fell asleep you will walk around say what a great twist at the end and how funny it is. In fact it was so funny we should nominate it for best Fu(King comedy at the Golden Globes; and since nobody else wants to admit they could not stay awake they will agree”.

So, there you have it. The Tourist. Watch it, Angelina is in it.

4,000 and counting...

A while back the Official State Controlled Media clicker hit 4,000 views. Right, we know...way cool. We wanted to celebrate, the question became; what to do? We got to thinking that we have come up with some pretty righteous shit over the last few months; and for most of you there is no way you have read it all. So we decided to take a break, and not post anything for a few days to rest and work on the bill paying gig we have.


We figured there is enough here to keep you busy for a week and maybe just maybe, it will remind you of a world where you did not have State Controlled Media-telling you what to eat, what to watch, what to think. Scary, Right!!?? So we are back in business, enjoy (that is an order!)

A Joke From Our "Special" Editor...

I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction......

I think its because all the good jokes argon

Your Far, Far, away binary

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Another True Story...

The following is a contribution from the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor:

My Phone the Racist

Today I found out my Phone is a racist. At first glance it appears to be a normal phone. 

It never seemed to be bigoted or hateful in anyway. Many times my phone would be around many different races and genders. Not once did the phone ever say or do anything that would make one suspect my phone has a seedy dark side. I remember once we went to the park and went on the swing together. And once we went to the movies and enjoyed a Tyler Perry picture.

Then today came. I was working feverishly trying to do good things. This process involved typing the word mother into a text message. Having the massively clumsy fingers that I have I spelled it m-o-h-e-r. Now, my phone can be pushy. It often changes words that I spell correctly into gibberish or into words that have no bearing on the message I wish to convey. When I typed out my alternative to mother my phone wanted to change it to the mother of all racial slurs. Yes the “N” word. So, when this happened I was in the presence of the Big Scary Editor. The BSE is a large black man and he is the authority  We at State Controlled Media go to whenever there is a question of racial sensitivity. BSE was in a state of shock when he saw the flagrant, abusive, invidious (thank you to Contributing editor for word)  attitude. It could have been hysterical laughter, I mean the kind of laughing where you spit and eyes roll down your face; however we believe that the BSE was so distraught that it was a sad cry and he was choking on sadness.  I would like to apologize to all peoples of the Earth for my phone’s behavior.