You don't see mummies much anymore so there is no real reason to give you tips to survive a mummy attack. Even in the mummy heyday the best you would get is one at a time. Now days of the zombie apocalypse this doesn't seem like a real threat. So we at State Controlled Media decided to help get things straight and throw out some mummy love. Lets start the expose with a question posed form a contributing editor:
“Aren't mummies just glorified Zombies?'
Our answer? Hell no. First it is recognized that zombies are caused by disease or experaments from man that have gone wrong. Mummies are enchanted. Zombies are instinctive and only attack to eat; they have no other function. Mummies are driven by rage and revenge. Mummies can retain the abilities and skills of their life. They are ass kicking machines. They seem to be impervious to bullets and other projectiles. Some even have dis played magical abilities.
“Aren't mummies just zombies with band-aids?”
No,
“Aren't mummies crunchy and nasty?”
NO.
“don't mummies light up like torch when you put a match to them?”
NOOOOO....well yeah...but...we don't want to talk about that.
So next time you are out show some mummy love!
If you missed it check out Part 1, Part 2: vampires, Part 3: Hellhounds, and Part 4The Phantom Myth
