Supernatural Awareness Month: I Want My Mummy!

You don't see mummies much anymore so there is no real reason to give you tips to survive a mummy attack. Even in the mummy heyday the best you would get is one at a time. Now days of the zombie apocalypse this doesn't seem like a real threat. So we at State Controlled Media decided to help get things straight and throw out some mummy love. Lets start the expose with a question posed form a contributing editor:

“Aren't mummies just glorified Zombies?'

Our answer? Hell no. First it is recognized that zombies are caused by disease or experaments from man that have gone wrong. Mummies are enchanted. Zombies are instinctive and only attack to eat; they have no other function. Mummies are driven by rage and revenge. Mummies can retain the abilities and skills of their life. They are ass kicking machines. They seem to be impervious to bullets and other projectiles. Some even have dis played magical abilities.

“Aren't mummies just zombies with band-aids?”

No,

“Aren't mummies crunchy and nasty?”

NO.

“don't mummies light up like torch when you put a match to them?”

NOOOOO....well yeah...but...we don't want to talk about that.

So next time you are out show some mummy love!

If you missed it check out Part 1, Part 2: vampires, Part 3: Hellhounds, and Part 4The Phantom Myth

Great Moments In History

Your Daily Binary Inspiration

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Getting with the program

We at State Controlled Media are now on Twitter. Find us at @SCM_PSBE

It was sugjested by a contributing editor that this was needed for world domination increasing traffic to the blog. So here it is.

We Have one Question...

Why weren't we invited to THIS party?????

We have a Hater!

We at State Controlled Media have lives. We have responsibilities, children and many other diversions that occupy our time. Often we cut corners in order to get posts up. This practice has earned us a scathing unflattering review. WE LOVED IT! It is not often that we get recognized for anything so it is welcome and well received, we are not changing anything. I doesn’t matter if you hate us as long as you DO AS WE SAY follow us. Two of our contributing editors said this type of behavior labels a person a troll. Example of troll:

 

It was suggested our response should be to say nothing that we should  follow the axiom “Please do not feed the trolls”. This is an impossibility for SCM so the only agreed apon recourse was to say Trolololololololol. Apparently this is some sort of magic incantation meant to ward off these people. It doesn’t matter, The Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor loves everyone the same amount (little to none). So welcome Haters, trolls, lurkers, hecklers, flamers, griefers, hit-and-runers… you have a home here, you will be fed and you will eat well.

SCM Endorses DIVA

The Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor

Has decided it is time for State Controlled Media to branch out. So we have decided to Endorse products, places, events and people even without any requests. Hey it’s what we do.

o    State Controlled Media now has its own official Cantatrice (that’s opera singer, we had to look it up too). Dr. Bethany Kiral who is a soprano and    can sing a little over 3 octaves. D3, the D that is almost an octave below middle C on a piano to F7, that's the f above high C, the highest note in the Queen of the Night....but she would NEVER sing that high public...the highest she has ever sang publicly was D7-the lowest was E-flat3. Dr. Kiral also told us there are many other things she would never do in public, but apparently associating with us is not one of them. Dr. Kiral is currently on a European tour so if you happen to be in Germany go see her (if our endorsement doesn’t end her career). Now, you may ask, is she good?  Well, we decided to let you hear from SCM’s own opera critic (who happens to be 7 years old) “she sings pretty but it hurts…”

So now State Controlled Media is involved with the opera…We got culture B!T(H!!!!!!