Saturday, December 31, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Your Binary Inspiration...
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Welcome new coutries
To date State Controlled Media has been read in 25 countries. We would like to welcome all of you to the fold. You are obviously the most sophisticated, creative and advanced people in the world. So to all of our new readers (and yes one hit counts) welcome!
SCM Holliday
The most auspicious of holidays (soon to be a national holiday) has come and passed. We at State Controlled Media would like to take a moment to address it. In case you missed it-and judging by our empty email account many of you had-We recently celebrated the birth of the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor. He had pre pared a short missive about turning another year older but we felt it was way, way to depressing. A sample: There has been but a paltry 13,505 sunrises in my life. I hath but not seen a handful of the most glorious and astonishing thing to happen each day. A reminder of creation that every morning that goes ignored by most and appreciated by too few. A sphere of utter energy breaks the horizon and the warmth of the glowing globe hits you face and enlivens you from 93 million miles away; a controlled explosion that is the most pivotal ingredient in the soup that is our life. The ancients worshiped the sun and gave it the reverence it deserved, planning their whole existence around its meanderings through the heavens…
Blah, blah, blah we were like who do you think you are Thoreau? He gets like that this time of year and in fact asked that his birthday not be recognized. Our argument being that all great heads of state have a nationally celebrated birthday. The first step is to acknowledge that you do indeed have a birthday. The PSBE agreed to acknowledge that he HAD a birthday. So happy belated birthday PSBE! Too all our dedicated followers, the problem is that the PSBE does not share well and he kind of has to play second fiddle to Jesus. We asked is there one thing we-your contributing editors and followers can get you he replied that there was, “Tomorrow look at the sunrise…”
Justin Bieber, coupons, Christmas,Happy birthday tome, happy birthday to me
Sunday, December 25, 2011
We need your assistance...
The Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor need a new Fedora. Something for the spring/summer. Any sugestions where to buy one are needed. Let us know...
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Another Reason Dogs are Better Than Cats
Dogs Don't disguise themselves as reindeer in order to destroy Christmas
Friday, December 23, 2011
A True Story...
State Controlled Media has an official dog. It is a dog that cost the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor a lot of money; while still being a mutt. We have to give credit to where it is due. Somewhere someone came up with the term ‘designer dog’ to describe mutts and they were able to charge a lot of money for something that was normally given away. Anyway, it is a well-known fact that the PSBE has a fondness for M&M’s (any type will due; although PSBE father is a strict peanut man). Just about every evening the PSBE likes to sit in the SCM recliner and throw back a few M&Ms.
Eventually he misses his mouth and that is when the PSBE dog does her magic.
You see through magic or the science behind making a designer dog she seems to have gained super powers. This also could be the reason behind her not shedding and the drain from the SCM budget for grooming (the money disappears like magic). The PSBE speculates that the origins of her super powers are evil. You see, when the PSBE drops an M&M the dog breaks the sound barrier to get to the M&M before the PSBE can get out of his chair
Then, breaking all of natural laws, the PSBE Dog goes to warp speed to avoid the retrieval of said M&M.
By this time the candy is no longer edible and the treat has lost all of its potential deliciousness. But chocolate is bad for dogs so we do our best to keep her from eating it. Somehow while travailing at warp speed the dog can still consume food. The PSBE believes that it is evil at work due to his M&M deprivation. We believe he has been out smarted by a dog.
Telling You What To Celebrate...
We at State Controlled Media are a big fan of Christmas; and not just because of the whole Birth of God thing. Don't get us wrong it is great and it relates to our larger point. This time of year always sparks the possibility of life. At Christmas all things seem right and if not they seem like they can get right next year. Rebirth. Normally we are righteous smart asses but we are serious about wishing you a Merry Christmas and a blessed new year. If you don't believe in any of this we still wish you the best. And prepare for the SCM global takeover in 2012...were we supposed to strike that out?
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Your Binary Inspiration
01010000 01010011 01000010 01000101
01001001 00100000 01101111 01101110 01100011 01100101 00100000 01100010 01101111 01110101 01100111 01101000 01110100 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01101011 01101001 01100100 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110011 01100101 01110100 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100010 01100001 01110100 01110100 01100101 01110010 01101001 01100101 01110011 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01000011 01101000 01110010 01101001 01110011 01110100 01101101 01100001 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01100001 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 01100101 00100000 01101111 01101110 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01110011 01100001 01111001 01101001 01101110 01100111 00101100 00100000 01110100 01101111 01111001 01110011 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100011 01101100 01110101 01100100 01100101 01100100 00001101 00001010
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
PSBE Note to Santa
Dear Santa,
I'm writing to let you know that We've been naughty...
and it was worth it.
You judgmental bastard.
I'm writing to let you know that We've been naughty...
and it was worth it.
You judgmental bastard.
From the Desk of the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Your Binary Inspiration
Apparently there is a problem with the code only part is visible once translated. Because we are to lazy to redo it the message is: The reason Santa is so jolly is he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin
Telling You What to Eat
Sushi---It's How we Roll
Picture this, A Japanese man sitting around his house wondering what to do with the two day old rice he had in the fridge. His wife starts nagging him about doing something with the fish he caught. She tells him that he cannot cook it in the house e as she hates the smell of cooking fish. So the man looks at his plate of fish, which is also in the fridge, see the fish is wrapped in seaweed and then see the rice out of the corner of his eye. Then in typical Man fashion connections are made where there were none before (Note: this is a different process than women where connections are perceived where none exist) and Sushi was born. So, the wife asks how you came up with this. Can’t cook fish? We eat it raw. You don’t throw away perfectly good rice and I was just too lazy to get rid of the seaweed.
Today Sushi is much more evolved (Men can’t help but tinker with things) but the elements that make it great are still present. Hats off to the Sushi restaurateur you serve food all day long and rarely (pun intended) have to cook anything! Plus the profits have to be amazing. You get a guy to pay 10-15 for tuna; this is the same tuna you can buy in a can for .50-.85 cents. Sushi truly is the ultimate guy food. Equal parts lazy and “I bet you won’t eat that!” Throw in heavy amounts of fortified booze and you have the ultimate guy restaurant. The local haunt that we at State Controlled Media frequent even has numerous flat screen TVs up with sports on all the time. Sushi is the Japanese answer to the hot wing. Only Sushi one-ups them in hot stuff. Not only do the use liberal amounts of sriracha sauce they also have spicy mayo and the king of all hot stuff. Wasabi. Forget about your habanero or ghost peppers. Sure they have been reported to kill. But it is scientifically proven (not really but it sounds better when we make stuff up to say that) after a certain level of heat all heat is the same. Your nerves only register so much heat. Wasabi consumption is the true measure of a man. The Sushi guys put it on your plate know full well that most of you will ignore it. A real man will use all he has and steal his wife’s as well. Forget about the heat in your mouth it burns your head from the indie out starting from behind you eyes. They aer daring you to eat it every time they hand you a plate of Sushi; are you a man or not? They don’t do that at wing places.
“here are the mild cheddar and fru-fru wings you ordered, oh and even though you did not order it here is a side of holy F#$K sauce if you are man enough to use it…”
So, if you have not already stopped reading and ran to your local Sushi Restaurant to prove your worthiness you should do so now; that is if you want to be cool like State Controlled Media.
Squid Porn, Goo Porn
Update: It was suggested by a contributing editor that Sushi could never be accepted as the ultimate guy food due to the fact that the name is somewhat effeminate. However his suggestion that the name be changed to Heshi would not help the situation. After a carful explanation (we are at work after all) he understood that calling it Heshi (HE-She) would only confuse things. Also, we forgot the one thing that makes this form of cuisine the most manly of dishes; the element of danger. Sushi can be deadly…no joke. Happy eating!
Monday, December 19, 2011
Stuff We Like
The stuff we like and you should too section has been updated. There is good stuff there. We realize the only reason you go to othere websites is that they are better than ours. So we make it easy on you. We all know that you see a site on the web and love it, but you will forget to book mark it and then forget the name or URL; or you hate all those bookmark clutering up your favorites or you are just to lazy to organize them. Just book mark State Controlled Media and we will have all the links you need for an awsome existance. Click Here to see what you have been missing.
Telling you what to watch…
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
The Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor was born, rightfully, the day after Jesus. Although this is a birthday of some distinction it has often lead to disappointing presents and or celebratory activities. This year Mrs. Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor said she was going to take PSBE to see the new Sherlock Holmes movie for his birthday...the catch being she wanted to take him nine days before his birthday. That’s ok; the PSBE is used to this sort of thing. So, the scheduled movie sojourn was to happen after a Christmas party in a small town about 45 minutes from State Controlled Media headquarters. The party came to a close and the State Controlled Media family headed back. Then, Mrs. PSBE said she no longer felt like going to the movies; “besides, we have a movie at home to watch.”
So, 127 Hours is the movie we watched. 127 Hours, 127 Hours…how to sum up this film? Man went hiking, fell in hole, arm trapped, he cut off arm after…wait for it…127 hours. There, that is the whole movie. Oh, he had to drink his own pee. This movie was nominated for Best Picture (no Really). We had High hopes. But, really what could you expect? We are only thankful that it wasn’t in real time. A two hour synopsis of 127 hours was long enough. At some point we were wondering if we could escape the rest of the film by cutting of our own arm.
The end of the movie there was a grand declaration about how the hero, who cut off his own arm, continues to hike and mountain climb to this day. We had a question. Since when did these avid hikers/climbers/cross country bicyclists become better than us? Seriously, a man who wanders around in the desert now has some sort of moral superiority over us because they are out there “living Life to its fullest” By that definition homeless people should be treated as the high priests of our generation. We can guarantee you that if we partake in an activity that causes us to lose an arm and nearly die…we won’t do it again. Doing something that nearly kills you every time you try it is not “living life to its fullest” that has another definition. Insanity.
We love the great outdoors. But we don’t have anything to prove.
So watch Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. No matter what it is like it has to be better than 127 Hours.
Update: The Oatmel has summed it up CLICK HERE
Update: The Oatmel has summed it up CLICK HERE
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Your Binary Inspiration
00100010 01000010 01101111 01110010 01110010 01101111 01110111 00100000 01101101 01101111 01101110 01100101 01111001 00100000 01100110 01110010 01101111 01101101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110000 01100101 01110011 01110011 01101001 01101101 01101001 01110011 01110100 00100000 00101101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01111001 00100000 01100100 01101111 01101110 00100111 01110100 00100000 01100101 01111000 01110000 01100101 01100011 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01100010 01100001 01100011 01101011 00101110 00100010
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Your Binary Inspiration
00100010 01001000 01100001 01101100 01100110 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110000 01100101 01101111 01110000 01101100 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01101100 01100100 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100010 01100101 01101100 01101111 01110111 00100000 01100001 01110110 01100101 01110010 01100001 01100111 01100101 00101110 00100010 00100000
Friday, December 16, 2011
SCM Public Service Announcement/Plea for Help
Don't let this tragedy happen! The fate of this girl-no, the fate of all mankind is in your hands. We all loose if she carries out her threat. All you have to do is to support State Controlled Media and tell your friends and family to do the same.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
A guide for you...
Many of you have asked us for guidance on everyday conundrums. WE at State controlled Media are more than happy to tell you how to live your lives to our standards assist. So we dug out the State Controlled Media Guide to life the universe and everything. We are offering it up to anyone who wants to read it. Hopefully, after reading it you will fall completely under our control and do our bidding and obey the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor's word as you would the word of God feel better prepared to face the world. Here it is, have a look:
Two things: the Authorship may not be accurate, and there is only one copy. If you want to read it get in touch and we will bring it to the dark ally of your choice.
Another Reason Dogs are Better Than Cats...
Your Binary Inspiration
01001001 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110101 01101100 01100100 00100000 01101100 01101001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101100 01101001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01001101 01100001 01101110 01100011 01101000 01100101 01110011 01110100 01100101 01110010 00101100 00100000 01000101 01101110 01100111 01101100 01100001 01101110 01100100 00101110 00100000 01010100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110100 01110010 01100001 01101110 01110011 01101001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 00100000 01100010 01100101 01110100 01110111 01100101 01100101 01101110 00100000 01001101 01100001 01101110 01100011 01101000 01100101 01110011 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100100 01100101 01100001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110101 01101100 01100100 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01110101 01101110 01101110 01101111 01110100 01101001 01100011 01100101 01100001 01100010 01101100 01100101 00101110 00011101 01001101 01100001 01110010 01101011 00100000 01010100 01110111 01100001 01101001 01101110 00100010 00001010
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
SCI-FI Story Updated
Parts 9, 10 and 11 have been added to the saga of HECK. Click HERE to read or on the tool bar.
People Who Did Us Wrong...
For whomever did this we have one thing to say...
We Rebuke you! If we find out who did this we are going to spit on the outside of your coffee cup!
Your Binary Inspiration
01000001 01110010 01100101 01101110 00011001 01110100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100111 01101100 01100001 01100100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110101 01110011 01100101 00100000 01000100 01101001 01100001 01101100 00111111 00100000 01000100 01101111 01101110 00011001 01110100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110011 01101000 00100000 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 01111001 01100010 01101111 01100100 01111001 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00111111
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Your Dialy Binary....
01000001 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01110000 01110101 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101111 01101110 01100011 01100101 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01100011 01101000 01100101 01110011 01110011 00101100 00100000 01100010 01110101 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01110111 01100001 01110011 00100000 01101110 01101111 00100000 01101101 01100001 01110100 01100011 01101000 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101011 01101001 01100011 01101011 00100000 01100010 01101111 01111000 01101001 01101110 01100111 00101110 00100000
Another Reason Dogs are Bettter Than Cats...
Dogs guard your toothbrush when you are not around...
Friday, December 9, 2011
Bad to good...
We were reviewing our review off the Twilight Movie: Breaking Dawn Part 1. we decided to ask a question why must the movie always suck more than the book? Imagine as bad as Twilight is as a book the movie is worse. Must it be that way? Even at its Hollywood magic best the movies are only as good as the book (Lord of the rings, Harry Potter, Godfather.) This proves the point. The books in which these movies were based off of were not the greatest works of literature yet they still were able to produce the bases of which were some of the best movies ever made. A decent book makes a great movie but a great book makes a shitty movie? It is not even like the movie is shitty compared to the book; the movie is just shit. So we have a proposal, we are going to try and take a great movie into a really shitty book. Or a really crappy movie and make it a great book. Now the movie cannot have been based off of a book. We have checked into this and the securing the rights to a movie script to turn into a book could be problematic. We began looking into the public domain for inspiration but most were real crap. We will let you know how it goes...
The Nine Rings of SCM Power...
We at State Controlled Media are in the process of developing the Nine Rings of SCM Power. The rings will have invested in them a part of the power of the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor. Once you wear them you will turn your existence over to the PSBE be able to become more powerful in your daily lives and have a supreme grasp of sarcasm, anti-altruism and acerbity . There are only nine so you will need to hurry now.
Also were are forging three special rings. Each ring will be available for sale to our most loyal followers. Each ring contains the powers of the nine plus a little something extra. The rings are as follows:
The Sarcastic Sulfuric Acid Ring: With this ring you will gain a masterful grasp of sarcasm but that is not why it is in the name of the ring. Anytime someone tries sarcasm on the wearer of this ring sulfuric acid will shoot from the ring into the eyes of the offender. (Be sure not to wear the ring backwards!) Example: “Hey nice ring.” (sarcasm implied he didn't really like your new Sarcastic Sulfuric Acid Ring). “Ahhhhhhhhhh! My Eyes!!!!”
See, works like a charm.
The Magnet Ring of Malevolence: The wearer of this ring has the power of malevolence literally at their finger tips. It acts as a polar opposite to those wish the wearer ill will. And then you can magnetize another person to receive any ill will around them.
“Hey, I just finished 300 forms!”
“What do you want, a party?” Button push. (Confetti refills sold separately.)
The PSBE also made a ring for himself. Not being sold anywhere Ash nazg durbatulûk,
Ash nazg gimbatul, Ash nazg thrakatulûk, Agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.''
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Your Daily Binary
01000110 01110010 01101001 01100101 01101110 01100100 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101100 01101001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01110101 01101110 01100100 01100101 01110010 01110111 01100101 01100001 01110010 00100000 00101110 00101110 00101110 00101110 00100000 01010011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100011 01110010 01100001 01110111 01101100 00100000 01110101 01110000 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01100001 01110011 01110011 00101110 00101110 00101110 00100000 01010011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01110011 01101110 01100001 01110000 00100000 01110101 01101110 01100100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110000 01110010 01100101 01110011 01110011 01110101 01110010 01100101 00101110 00101110 00101110 00100000 01010011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100100 01101111 01101110 00100111 01110100 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110011 01110100 01110010 01100101 01101110 01100111 01110100 01101000 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101000 01101111 01101100 01100100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110101 01110000 00101110 00101110 00101110 00100000 01010011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100111 01100101 01110100 00100000 01100001 00100000 01101100 01101001 01110100 01110100 01101100 01100101 00100000 01110100 01110111 01101001 01110011 01110100 01100101 01100100 00101110 00101110 00101110 00100000 01010011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01100110 01100001 01110110 01101111 01110010 01101001 01110100 01100101 00101110 00101110 00101110 00100000 01010011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101000 01100101 01100001 01110000 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101010 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01110000 01101100 01100001 01101001 01101110 00100000 01101110 01100001 01110011 01110100 01111001 00101110 00101110 00101110 00100000 01000001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100001 01100011 01110100 01110101 01100001 01101100 01101100 01111001 00100000 01100100 01101111 00100000 01100011 01101111 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01100001 01110011 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101000 01100101 01101110 00100000 01110101 00100000 01101110 01100101 01100101 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01101101 00100000 01110100 01101111 01101111 00101110 00001010
A contributing editor pointed out that the Daily Binary is not as much daily as it is binary. We pointed out that we have material for a binary everyday it is just a case of we don't post enough filler between binaries to make the site enjoyable. The whole thing would be ones and zeros. So we skip posting some. Deal with it.
People who did us wrong...
The “Oh I don't (Fill in the blank with your favorite activity/food/waste of time) guy.
You know this conversation. You are eager to share how exciting the season finally of Son's of Anarchy (Possibly the greatest show on TV.) You an another person get to discuss your various viewpoints and a third party (without being asked) interjects about how they don't watch TV or even worse don't own a TV. We get it you are superior to us because you don't partake in watching the byproduct of countless hours of hard work by talented craftsmen, writers, actors and directors. Yeah we suck. This concept applies to a lot of other categories:
Oh, I don't drink alcohol.
Oh, I don't drink caffeinated beverages.
Oh, I don't eat fatty food.
Oh, I don't red meat.
Oh, I don't eat anything that has a face.
Oh, I don't eat anything that is not organic.
Oh, I don't wear synthetic clothing.
Oh, I don't wear leather.
Oh, I don't read magazines.
Oh, I don't read fiction.
Oh, I don't read blogs.
Oh, I don't chew my own toenails.
Oh, I don't go on Facebook.
Oh, I don't play video games.
Oh, I don't celebrate Thanksgiving.
Oh, I don't celebrate Christmas.
Oh, I don't own a car.
Oh, I don't watch squid porn.
Oh, I don't go to movies.
Oh, I don't pay attention to pop culture.
Oh, I don't believe in having fun and living life nor enjoying myself and since I don't, I am going to try and suck the fun out of life for you as well.
We at State Controlled Media have heard all of these in real life...OK so we made the last one up; but it is what they should be saying. The Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor once worked in an establishment where there were TVs for the customers to watch whilst otherwise engaged (the lifetime ban he received from the establishment and possible pending litigation prevents us from disclosing the name of the establishment). A patron came up to him and objected to what was on the TV the PSBE offered up the remote. The patron recoiled from the remote as if he was offered up an steaming pile of dogshit. He said, “Oh, I don't watch TV, I don't even know how to use that thing.” That “Thing” was the remote. He had no interest in watching TV but he just didn't want others to get to see what was on. It was a particular news show from a certain news outlet which he had never watched but found objectionable as it was likely they disagreed with his point of view. Like most people who start a sentence with “Oh, I don't...” he was more interested in what other people are doing rather than just living his own life and leaving us the hell alone.
By the way We at State Controlled Media do all of the above and we have a damn good time.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Vision TEST
the utmost concern for the people's health. That is why we have developed this vision test. Hidden in the picture are a set of letters, see if you can find them. If you are able to find the letters there may be a hidden message or two from the Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor. We tried to tell him the test was two hard...but he wouldn't listen. Good luck!
Did you know?
We are posting a Sci-Fi story one part at a time. It has a horrible title called HECK. If you have time click HERE to check it out. If you have already been reading it part eight has just went up.
Telling You What to Watch…
Anything, and we at State Controlled Media mean ANYTHING, but The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn part 1. The Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor escorted Mrs. Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor to the cinema for an evening showing. Don’t do it; just don’t go and see it. If you want to know what it was like, here is what you do:
1: Watch a strangers wedding video (including reception)
2: Go to the internet and watch a video of a couples honeymoon and when it gets to the good part you can do one of the following
A: put your face so close to the screen you and only see their faces
B: minimize the screen anytime someone looks like they are about to get naked
C: look away every five seconds
3: Play a video of someone giving birth while also playing a video of a dogfight.
4: play awful music the ENTIRE time you complete the previous.
5. Invite random teenagers to stand around and pout.
There you have it. Do all of the above and you will not have to watch the movie! We have mentioned this before but we had to bring it up again. In the book and in the movie Edward and Bella do “IT”. In both mediums Bella is described as receiving bruises from the love making (downplayed a lot in the movie). Edward cries and moans about hurting her, and vows to never touch her again for fear of hurting her. Every time we want to scream out ”If someone doesn’t get a few bruises you ain’t doing it right!”
P.S. We think that Mrs. Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor may have liked it due to some comments she made like “It got better when Bella got pregnant” but we were afraid to ask for clarification for fear of ridiculing her in public. Twilight fans are a surly bunch.
P.P.S. If Mrs. Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor is reading this; everything above was a joke and only a joke. We loved the movie and can’t wait to take you to see part 2!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Your Daily Binary
01001100 01100001 01110011 01110100 00100000 01101110 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01101100 01100001 01111001 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100100 00100000 01101100 01101111 01101111 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110101 01110000 00100000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110011 01110100 01100001 01110010 01110011 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110011 01101011 01111001 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101111 01110101 01100111 01101000 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101101 01111001 01110011 01100101 01101100 01100110 00101100 00100000 01110111 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101000 01100101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100011 01100101 01101001 01101100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00101110
Friday, December 2, 2011
Telling You What to Eat...
Bacon burger dog!
You can thank us later.
Mix onion and spices into ground beef. Roll a hot dog in the beef; then wrap bacon around the whole thing. Slow roast it on a grill or in your oven and you are in business! Many variations are possible.
here is a recipe for Jalapeno Cheddar Bacon Burger Dog.
What? You want to live forever?
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Your Daily Binary
01010011 01101100 01100101 01100101 01110000 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110011 01111001 01101101 01110000 01110100 01101111 01101101 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100011 01100001 01100110 01100110 01100101 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100100 01100101 01110000 01110010 01101001 01110110 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 00101110 00001010
People Who Did Us Wrong-Coffee Lovers
That's right You heard us. Now we at State Controlled Media are not talking about people who drink coffee, nor or we speaking about people who have to drink coffee or they will die! No, these insufferable, elitist, pompous, self-righteous hipsters are a menace to society. They pay more than five dollars for a cup of coffee that may be worth less than two bucks. They have special bistros that sell coffee and have special tables to sit at and drink their coffee. They pay exorbitant amounts of money for specially grown beans to make special coffee. Sometimes they feed them to rodents and then brew the poop, really... They don't just drink the coffee; they make an event out of it. Father Perpetual Supreme Benevolent Editor would pour a cup, drink it and get on with his day. No fancy mugs, no frothing, no matching outfits, no long discussions about how it was brewed or where the beans came from. Black Java in gullet task complete. Cheap coffee distributors started selling their coffee in odd cups so people could look like they were pay six dollars a cup an really only spend a dollar. This type of thinking is not exclusive to coffee drinkers, many people take things to far to prove that they way they do it makes them better than you. For instance people who LOVE Jazz. The PSBE loves Jazz but hates people who LOVE Jazz. Drinking Coffee an activity not a lifestyle people.There is only one addiction to a substance we approve of:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)